The Great Florida Trip of 2012- Days Ten thru Fourteen
I've had some time now to really reflect on my trip. My mission. My sojourn into the abyss that is Florida. Maybe I'm being a little dramatic here, sojourn might not be the right term for entering an abyss. One usually tumbles or falls into one, me it's like I sauntered into the abyss. Willingly of course. That was my challenge, the whole thing has been a challenge. The expectations in my head haven't once matched up with reality. I probably should've known better because this isn't my only trip into the abyss. Also, I've noticed something about myself that I wish I would kind of stop doing, and that is being so judgmental. I say kind of, because if I stop doing it, I'll have no fun at all. Perhaps I'll tone down the judgment after this entry. That's what I'll do.
On Sunday I traveled to Tampa from Casselberry, with one stop in between in Kissimmee to take a tennis lesson and watch the Patriots. I, for one, was glad to get out of Casselberry and the greater Orlando area. Orlando is a place for people who like places like Orlando. It really has nothing besides Disney and three Souplantation/Sweet Tomatoes locations. That's it!
The greater Orlando area also has something so prevalent, so in your face, that it borders on being cartoonish. For some reason, there are men, many many men that feel the need to tuck in their tee shirt, polo shirt into their jean shorts. Basically, they tuck their shirts in when probably, they should be left untucked. You know these guys. They're all on the hefty side, yes, there are a few in shape, but mostly big guys with short hair and a mustache. They also have a cell phone strapped to their belt and seem to always be on business. It's usually in a coffee shop, or and Einstein Bros Bagel store. These guys are everywhere down here. Everywhere! It's a "guys who look like cops" convention that is perpetually going on in Orlando.
There's stereotypes like this all over Florida. Where I stayed, boy oh boy, for instance, there was an African American man, definitely in his twenties, I'd see around the hotel. One day he was playing catch with his young son in the parking lot. From that point on, we exchanged pleasantries whenever we saw each other. On my last day there I ran into him and three white women at the dollar store so conveniently located right across the street from the 'Burb.(Short for Suburban Suites Extended Stay) They had tattoos, one woman had blue eye shadow, another woman kind of looked like she would be the sister of the blue eye shadowed woman. Both of them looked like they were in their thirties. The third woman was young and had reddish brown hair and was somewhat attractive. She had fake boobies and was pushing an infant in a stroller. I ended up behind them at the checkout counter. The one with the blue eye shadow referred to this fellow as her husband. It surprised me a little. Nonetheless, he'll probably have an affair with the younger one with the fake boobies and they'll all end up on Jerry Springer. I'd be able to say I knew them when.
I drove the hour and forty three minute drive to Tampa in one hour and thirty seven minutes. I've never been to Tampa, well, once, but it was at the airport and I left immediately to go south. Never been deep inside it. I wasn't deep inside it on this particular evening either. I was in a part of Tampa called, Ybor City. Just the tip. #sexreferencehaha This place resembles New Orleans in a way, with the narrow streets, lots of balconies, bars, and a street car. I met my friend Tom there. He was working at the Tampa Improv and had the club's condo all to himself, so I bunked up for the night. It saved me money and broke up my trip further south to Port Charlotte nicely. Tom is a very funny and bright man that knows how to live life. He may live it too hard but I learned something hanging out with him at a bar called, The Boneyard. They have awesome chicken wings, if you're ever deep inside Ybor City.
When I go away, I'm always in search of adventure, nothing dangerous, maybe more like experiences, new people and places that sort of thing. Hanging out with Tom at this bar I felt that vibe. It's something that I didn't feel in Orlando/Casselberry that's for sure. I felt normal and connected on the tennis court but there was no newness to it. Being in a bar with like minded people, that's when I felt it, the connection with living, the sense of adventure and being out in the world experiencing life. Who knows, maybe I'm just an alcoholic and love to be in bars but I don't think that's the case. Tom is to me like Dean Moriarty was to Sal Paradise. They guy just goes out and experiences the world and doesn't care. I don't want to live totally the way he lives because I love my liver too much but there was something to be learned. Wanting to be a writer, this is the way to do it, experience life. Because, deep down, everyone I meet are just characters in my book. All the great authors did this and I too want to do the same. Sometimes, you've got to take chances and go beyond your comfort zone. Tom can do this easily.
Tom told me of some of the characters he'd met during his time in Tampa and I was hoping to run into at least one of them. For the experience of course. He told me about the guy in a diaper running down the street wearing a gas mask. He told me of the "Senator" an elderly man who only wears bikini underwear. That's not the bizarre part. He takes viagra to achieve an erection and dances around like that. He's quite well known around those parts. But, there's someone else, probably more infamous than the Senator. This man is known as the Tampa Bay Shoe Licker. His claim to fame is he'll sneak up on you and lick the bottom of your shoe. Yeah, he got me.
On Sunday I traveled to Tampa from Casselberry, with one stop in between in Kissimmee to take a tennis lesson and watch the Patriots. I, for one, was glad to get out of Casselberry and the greater Orlando area. Orlando is a place for people who like places like Orlando. It really has nothing besides Disney and three Souplantation/Sweet Tomatoes locations. That's it!
The greater Orlando area also has something so prevalent, so in your face, that it borders on being cartoonish. For some reason, there are men, many many men that feel the need to tuck in their tee shirt, polo shirt into their jean shorts. Basically, they tuck their shirts in when probably, they should be left untucked. You know these guys. They're all on the hefty side, yes, there are a few in shape, but mostly big guys with short hair and a mustache. They also have a cell phone strapped to their belt and seem to always be on business. It's usually in a coffee shop, or and Einstein Bros Bagel store. These guys are everywhere down here. Everywhere! It's a "guys who look like cops" convention that is perpetually going on in Orlando.
There's stereotypes like this all over Florida. Where I stayed, boy oh boy, for instance, there was an African American man, definitely in his twenties, I'd see around the hotel. One day he was playing catch with his young son in the parking lot. From that point on, we exchanged pleasantries whenever we saw each other. On my last day there I ran into him and three white women at the dollar store so conveniently located right across the street from the 'Burb.(Short for Suburban Suites Extended Stay) They had tattoos, one woman had blue eye shadow, another woman kind of looked like she would be the sister of the blue eye shadowed woman. Both of them looked like they were in their thirties. The third woman was young and had reddish brown hair and was somewhat attractive. She had fake boobies and was pushing an infant in a stroller. I ended up behind them at the checkout counter. The one with the blue eye shadow referred to this fellow as her husband. It surprised me a little. Nonetheless, he'll probably have an affair with the younger one with the fake boobies and they'll all end up on Jerry Springer. I'd be able to say I knew them when.
I drove the hour and forty three minute drive to Tampa in one hour and thirty seven minutes. I've never been to Tampa, well, once, but it was at the airport and I left immediately to go south. Never been deep inside it. I wasn't deep inside it on this particular evening either. I was in a part of Tampa called, Ybor City. Just the tip. #sexreferencehaha This place resembles New Orleans in a way, with the narrow streets, lots of balconies, bars, and a street car. I met my friend Tom there. He was working at the Tampa Improv and had the club's condo all to himself, so I bunked up for the night. It saved me money and broke up my trip further south to Port Charlotte nicely. Tom is a very funny and bright man that knows how to live life. He may live it too hard but I learned something hanging out with him at a bar called, The Boneyard. They have awesome chicken wings, if you're ever deep inside Ybor City.
When I go away, I'm always in search of adventure, nothing dangerous, maybe more like experiences, new people and places that sort of thing. Hanging out with Tom at this bar I felt that vibe. It's something that I didn't feel in Orlando/Casselberry that's for sure. I felt normal and connected on the tennis court but there was no newness to it. Being in a bar with like minded people, that's when I felt it, the connection with living, the sense of adventure and being out in the world experiencing life. Who knows, maybe I'm just an alcoholic and love to be in bars but I don't think that's the case. Tom is to me like Dean Moriarty was to Sal Paradise. They guy just goes out and experiences the world and doesn't care. I don't want to live totally the way he lives because I love my liver too much but there was something to be learned. Wanting to be a writer, this is the way to do it, experience life. Because, deep down, everyone I meet are just characters in my book. All the great authors did this and I too want to do the same. Sometimes, you've got to take chances and go beyond your comfort zone. Tom can do this easily.
Tom told me of some of the characters he'd met during his time in Tampa and I was hoping to run into at least one of them. For the experience of course. He told me about the guy in a diaper running down the street wearing a gas mask. He told me of the "Senator" an elderly man who only wears bikini underwear. That's not the bizarre part. He takes viagra to achieve an erection and dances around like that. He's quite well known around those parts. But, there's someone else, probably more infamous than the Senator. This man is known as the Tampa Bay Shoe Licker. His claim to fame is he'll sneak up on you and lick the bottom of your shoe. Yeah, he got me.
Posted by Tony Moschetto at 1/24/2012 2:41 PM 
Categories: The Daily Paragraph, The Great Florida Trip of 2012
Categories: The Daily Paragraph, The Great Florida Trip of 2012
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