The Great Florida Trip of 2012- Epilogue
Nothing stops creative
momentum like a long car ride. Make that two long car rides. My last two
days were consumed by driving and staring at the scenery. I found
myself, countless times, saying out loud, "I remember that exit," or,
"Geez, glad I don't live here."
The best and worst part about driving ten hour days is you get the chance to think. It's a process. Personally, I go through stages. There's the beginning stage where I'm excited to get on the road, my adrenaline kicks in as I begin the journey with unbridled enthusiasm. After an hour or two, the real thinking begins and depending on where you're heading, it either becomes a source of positive visualization or one colossal mind fuck.
Going to Florida it was positive visualization for sure, coming back, the opposite occurred. It was like a negative conference in my mind and all the usual suspects showed up. There was Fear, brought on by a flickering oil light, which brought on Worry. Worry also was worried about my upcoming financial picture and how I was going to swing paying my bills and getting my car checked out. You see, previously on my trip, my "check engine" light came on. I stopped at an Advance Auto Parts store and they put the car on a diagnostics machine. The results came back a leak in the emissions, which has happened before, no chance of breaking down because the engine was fine. But, Worry had me thinking of what was to become of that and how much it was going to cost. At this time Self Doubt showed up, drunk and with some floozy. He began with the, "You should've done this and you could've done that..." and on and on. The floozy just laughed at everything he said. Thank god I had to stop and pee.
When I returned to my car and began to drive I noticed the conference had ended. Which brings me to the next stage, The Stage of Awakening.
A peacefulness washes over me and I begin to think of all the things I'm going to do when I get back. All the good routines and habits I'm going to begin and stick with, the great jokes I'm going to write and all the good tennis I'm going to play. It's just a nice stage of wonderment and excitement. I like this stage, quickly my thoughts turn to the past and of the trip.
I learned a few things or realized a couple of things to be exact. It could be four things, who knows, we'll count together.
One: my expectations were far different than what actually transpired. For instance, during the first ten days, the hotels I stayed in were shit holes, shame on me for thinking I'd get more than I paid for. The people I'd meet, the friendliness I wanted to encounter, didn't happen. I'm not sure why because I frequented the same places and saw the same people but they were working and didn't share the same enthusiasm I had for talking to a stranger. It seemed wherever I went people kept to themselves. The comedy shows I did were a disaster as well. I was supposed to do three shows for an "establishment" that has a few rooms on the east side of Florida. The guy that owns it is also a "comedian". Well, I had the privilege of bombing in front of him after the second show. Needless to say there wasn't a third one. I tucked my tail between my legs and moved on.
Two: I know a lot of people but I don't KNOW them. Does that make sense? During my trip my aunt passed away. She lived in Largo Florida, which is about an hour and a half north from where my sister lives. Last Saturday, my sister, her boyfriend and myself traveled to visit my uncle and pay our respects. We arrived and my uncle introduced me to his son and daughter(my cousins) who, I don't think I've ever met. If I did meet them, it was a long time ago and I don't remember it. It was a great afternoon listening to stories and hearing my uncle recant the story of how he met my aunt, his navy days and how he's only a half brother to my mother. It was amazing. I got to know my cousins too. These are people in my family that I should know. I'm saying, at least have some closeness to them that I don't have now. They're not only family, they're cool.
It was like that when I stayed at Brian and Marylin's in Jacksonville. I kept saying to myself, why don't I know these people better. I had the chance a few years ago when they lived in Boston. They were so kind and accommodating I kind of felt guilty for staying. This is a pattern in my life I'd like to change. I'd like to get to know the people in my life.
It was two things. Fortunately, the last half of the GFT of 2012 was awesome. I stayed at my sister's and it was beautiful. I didn't clog the toilet once. People were extremely friendly and I played tennis with one of the most interesting men I've ever met. Comedy wise, I kicked ass. Most importantly, I have a forehand. It will indeed be a great summer for tennis.
The final stage is happiness when I see that entering Massachusetts sign. Time to take what I learned and put it to the test. Am I better person now? Maybe. I don't think this trip made me a better man, I think I'm a good man with more experience and insight, which I'm very grateful.
Thanks to everyone that made the trip a memorable one. The hotel I stayed in the last night of my trip.
The best and worst part about driving ten hour days is you get the chance to think. It's a process. Personally, I go through stages. There's the beginning stage where I'm excited to get on the road, my adrenaline kicks in as I begin the journey with unbridled enthusiasm. After an hour or two, the real thinking begins and depending on where you're heading, it either becomes a source of positive visualization or one colossal mind fuck.
Going to Florida it was positive visualization for sure, coming back, the opposite occurred. It was like a negative conference in my mind and all the usual suspects showed up. There was Fear, brought on by a flickering oil light, which brought on Worry. Worry also was worried about my upcoming financial picture and how I was going to swing paying my bills and getting my car checked out. You see, previously on my trip, my "check engine" light came on. I stopped at an Advance Auto Parts store and they put the car on a diagnostics machine. The results came back a leak in the emissions, which has happened before, no chance of breaking down because the engine was fine. But, Worry had me thinking of what was to become of that and how much it was going to cost. At this time Self Doubt showed up, drunk and with some floozy. He began with the, "You should've done this and you could've done that..." and on and on. The floozy just laughed at everything he said. Thank god I had to stop and pee.
When I returned to my car and began to drive I noticed the conference had ended. Which brings me to the next stage, The Stage of Awakening.
A peacefulness washes over me and I begin to think of all the things I'm going to do when I get back. All the good routines and habits I'm going to begin and stick with, the great jokes I'm going to write and all the good tennis I'm going to play. It's just a nice stage of wonderment and excitement. I like this stage, quickly my thoughts turn to the past and of the trip.
I learned a few things or realized a couple of things to be exact. It could be four things, who knows, we'll count together.
One: my expectations were far different than what actually transpired. For instance, during the first ten days, the hotels I stayed in were shit holes, shame on me for thinking I'd get more than I paid for. The people I'd meet, the friendliness I wanted to encounter, didn't happen. I'm not sure why because I frequented the same places and saw the same people but they were working and didn't share the same enthusiasm I had for talking to a stranger. It seemed wherever I went people kept to themselves. The comedy shows I did were a disaster as well. I was supposed to do three shows for an "establishment" that has a few rooms on the east side of Florida. The guy that owns it is also a "comedian". Well, I had the privilege of bombing in front of him after the second show. Needless to say there wasn't a third one. I tucked my tail between my legs and moved on.
Two: I know a lot of people but I don't KNOW them. Does that make sense? During my trip my aunt passed away. She lived in Largo Florida, which is about an hour and a half north from where my sister lives. Last Saturday, my sister, her boyfriend and myself traveled to visit my uncle and pay our respects. We arrived and my uncle introduced me to his son and daughter(my cousins) who, I don't think I've ever met. If I did meet them, it was a long time ago and I don't remember it. It was a great afternoon listening to stories and hearing my uncle recant the story of how he met my aunt, his navy days and how he's only a half brother to my mother. It was amazing. I got to know my cousins too. These are people in my family that I should know. I'm saying, at least have some closeness to them that I don't have now. They're not only family, they're cool.
It was like that when I stayed at Brian and Marylin's in Jacksonville. I kept saying to myself, why don't I know these people better. I had the chance a few years ago when they lived in Boston. They were so kind and accommodating I kind of felt guilty for staying. This is a pattern in my life I'd like to change. I'd like to get to know the people in my life.
It was two things. Fortunately, the last half of the GFT of 2012 was awesome. I stayed at my sister's and it was beautiful. I didn't clog the toilet once. People were extremely friendly and I played tennis with one of the most interesting men I've ever met. Comedy wise, I kicked ass. Most importantly, I have a forehand. It will indeed be a great summer for tennis.
The final stage is happiness when I see that entering Massachusetts sign. Time to take what I learned and put it to the test. Am I better person now? Maybe. I don't think this trip made me a better man, I think I'm a good man with more experience and insight, which I'm very grateful.
Thanks to everyone that made the trip a memorable one. The hotel I stayed in the last night of my trip.
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